NEWS 22 JANUARY 2005

FIRST TIME HOUSE BUYERS FUCKED
First time house buyers now total only 3% of all property purchases according to latest surveys. It would seem while today’s globally concerned overeducated youth are protesting in the streets over the actions of George Bush (the president of the United Kingdom of America it would apparently seem), only the silver spooner and hardest working kids can now afford to actually purchase a home. Of course this reality is no real revelation to anybody who has watched property prices far from slowly spiral upwards but at least now a percentage can be put on the fact. In 92% of towns in UK towns, first time buyers cannot afford to purchase a home, the problems being most acute in Southern England.

MORE IRAQS ATTACKS
And on the subject of the mess in Iraq, our generation’s Vietnam is many ways, all we really need now is the draft and when I say need I mean NEED! The interim Prime Minister Iyad Allawi has said it will be impossible to provide full security for this month’s parliamentary elections. Friday saw another two suicide bombings killing another 25 people while Danish troops have now been charged with mistreating Iraqi prisoners.

BLASTED TORY SPENDING PLAN
Tony Blair is set to blast the Tory spending proposals, claiming that they would cause economic failure. Yeah, it would really ruin what we have going for us right now.

ROSE WEST MOVED
After the Peter Sutcliffe jolly boys outing last week, it has been revealed that Rose West has been temporarily moved from Durham prison to a Buckinghamshire jail to enable family members to visit her. I thought however that she and Fred had probably finished off their family. In a related story, it was reported that two skeletons had been found in the ex-West home’s chimney but they only turned out to be old flames.