NEWS 20 JANUARY 2005

RIPPPER ATTENDS FUNERAL
The country is in uproar today as it has been reported that Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe has been allowed out of Broadmoar prison to visit the site where his Father’s ashes have been scattered. It is believed that people are calling for Sutcliffe to be attending his own funeral.

BUSH SWEARS AT INAUGURATION
Washington is bracing itself for trouble (mainly from Michael Moore) as George W. Bush gets sworn in as president for a second term today. Which particular swear words Bush will be stuttering/slurring have not yet been confirmed.