NEWS 29 JANUARY 2005

EXPLOSIONS BEGIN IN IRAQ
A Suicide bomber started voting off with a bang Saturday morning as the main airport and borders to Iraq are shut in order for people to vote under a lessened threat of violence. Sadly however they will receive a mark on their hand after they vote which will kind of give the game away.

CANNABIS LEADS TO MENTAL PROBLEMS
Studies have pointed out that smoking pot leads to depression, paranoia and other mental health problems. How astute.

BIG IN ALBANIA
The front page of The Sun today has an exclusive with the story of how the Albanian mafia have been plotting to kidnap Julian Clary. A rather curious choice/decision on their part I would imagine, especially in the light that most people’s reactions would be “keep him”.